Cloud Board

Don't drop that mirror or you'll have bad luck for seven years.
Never let a black cat cross your path.
Throw salt over your shoulder to ward off bad luck.

We have all heard these admonitions before. Somehow its comforting to know that you might be able to ward off misfortune with a pinch of salt or a knock on wood. This is especially true when dealing with the unknown or something particularly scary. So it isn't surprising that the Ouija board has its own set of rules and warnings; you may even know some yourself. But are they true? Do you really need to worry about these things, or are they just superstitions garnered from Ouija folklore? Well, we're not going to let you off easy with a simple answer, especially since the Ouija has a reputation to maintain. Instead, just for your amusement, we are going to treat you to just about every Ouija caveat we know. There is no need to thank us. Consider it a little reward for staying with us this long. Oh, and you may wish to read them over before your next session with the Wonderful Talking Board.

  • Never play alone!
  • Never let the spirits count down through the numbers or go through the alphabet as they can get out of the board this way.
  • If the planchette goes to the four corners of the board it means that you have contacted an evil spirit.
  • If the planchette falls from a Ouija board, a spirit will get loose.
  • If the planchette repeatedly makes a figure eight, it means that an evil spirit is in control of the board.
  • If you should get an evil spirit, quickly turn the planchette upside down and use it that way.
  • The board must be "closed" properly or evil spirits will remain behind to haunt the operator.
  • Never use the Ouija when you are ill or in a weakened condition since this may make you vulnerable to possession.
  • The spirit of the Ouija board creates "wins" for the user, causing him to become more and more dependent on the board. Addiction follows. This is called "progressive entrapment."
  • Evil spirits contacted through the Ouija board will try to win your confidence with false flattery and lies.
  • Always be respectful and never upset the spirits.
  • Never use the Ouija in a graveyard or place where a terrible death has occurred or you will bring forth malevolent entities.
  • Witchboards are so named because witches use them to summon demons.
  • The very first Ouija boards were made from the wood of coffins. A coffin nail in the center of the planchette window served as the pointer.
  • Sometimes an evil spirit can permanently "inhabit" a board. When this happens, no other spirits will be able to use it.
  • When using a glass as a message indicator, you must always cleanse it first by holding it over a burning candle.
  • Ouija boards that are disposed of improperly, come back to haunt the owner.
  • Ami gets a hand.A Ouija Board will scream if you try to burn it. People who hear the scream have less than thirty-six hours to live. There is only one proper way to dispose of it: break the board into seven pieces, sprinkle it with Holy Water then bury it.
  • If you must use a Ouija board, make your own. Arrange the letters and numbers, into a circle so whatever is trapped within that circle can't escape.
  • If you place a pure silver coin on the board, no evil spirits will be able to come through.
  • NEVER leave the planchette on the board if you aren't using it.
  • Lecherous spirits from the Ouija board will sometimes ask young women to do rather . . . ah, odd things. Ignore them and always remember that your Ouija partner (i.e. boyfriend) has nothing to do with this.
Three things never to ask a Ouija board:
  • Never ask about God.
  • Never ask when you are going to die.
  • Never ask where the gold is buried.
Here is a cautionary tale that has been around for a long, long time. The point is (obviously) to warn a potential Ouija user that spirits are a deceitful lot. One gets the idea that they may not be too smart either.
We were having a Ouija session one evening and we contacted a friendly spirit who told us all about himself when he had a body. We asked him several questions about his life and family, to which he cheerfully responded. Next we asked him when he died and he said, "1948." He also mentioned that he liked talking to us and that he felt safe with the living. We then asked him the year of his birth. To this question he replied, "1955." We looked at each other, confused, and asked, "You mean you died BEFORE you were born?" The message indicator circled the board wildly for a moment then spelled out,

"O - O - P - S"

—then stopped and refused to move, effectively ending our session for the night.

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* That's Ami Dolenz in Witchboard 2: the Devil's Doorway,
Republic Pictures Corporation 1993.
Keep telling yourself: "It's only a movie; it's only a movie!"

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